Sunday, March 21, 2010

thats what she said





That's what she said. Everyone loves the that's what she said jokes. Say something that could be twisted in any way possible to sound dirty and say "that's what she said" I am a very big victim of that's what she said. almost everything thing that comes out of my mouth (thats what she said) is somewhat dirty and i get slammed(thats what she said) with a THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID from every direction. My boyfriend and best friend are both big fans of the thats what she said, so i get it almost every five mins all day long(thats what she said). Not only that, I am horrible at the joke it's self. I never catch the thats what she said on time, or else ill say thats what she said at a moment where, honestly, it makes no sense at all. But what I was thinking about, was who is SHE. How do we all know SHE said this. Somewhere out there, there is someone named SHE who is just like "wow well fuck me" (thats what she said). she goes to the bank to cash a check and the guy reads her information and is like "oh, so your she" and starts whispering to the bank teller in the cubical next to him and they're like "yeah dude that chick is into some nasty shit" poor girl.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

st patricks day 2010







I am 25 % irish and I'm damn proud. Today is a day of green, a day of fat L's , walks in the wood, bird in the middle, playing in sand dunes, almost being able to drink in a house, instead just drinking Captin in a field with an electrical tower, more L's, more captin. HAPPY ST PATRICKS DAY LAD.

Monday, March 15, 2010

cold stone creamery's cotton candy ice cream.






Cold stone is known for the fact that they have amazing ice cream, that they scoop out onto an ice cold table and hand mix anything you want into them, making crazy creations like "birthday cake remix" or "cheesecake fantasy" or "mud pie mojo" or my favorite "founder's favorite". all mixed in with goodies. you can get it in sizes "like it" "love it" and "gotta have it" which frankly just makes me feel awkward when ordering, but thats just my personal opinion. today i was so full from texas road house, that i couldn't even think of ordering a crazy ice cream creation. so i simply went with cotton candy like it. plain just the ice cream. i am telling you right now that this ice cream is literally the best ice cream i have ever had. it is not only an absolutely delicious burst of flavor in my mouth, it is also like whipped light and fluffy airy ice cream, that i just can't stop eating. this is retardedly amazing.

Bathroom Prayer





A 55 year old woman, named Evelyn Boyd, decided on Feb 7th, (my birthday) that she desperately needed to concentrate on praying. being that my views on praying are quite cynical, you might be able to see why I thought this story was ridiculous and silly. This woman needed to pray for her husband , her church, her city the nation and president obama. Those were the things she decided to pray for.... she then locked herself in the BATHROOM? for more than three weeks. Okay side note people, helloooo, if your going to "pray" and lock yourself in a room for three weeks, the BATHROOM? I mean I guess I get it cause of the toilet needs but like cmon, THE BATHROOM. My question is what did her family do? When they had to pee or shit? like what did they do? This woman ordered her husband to leave her alone, and he figured shed be fine because nothing when wrong the last four times she fasted. except for the fact that this is her fifth time fasting. i wonder if something so really great came out of the first four fasts. why isn't this husband concerned about this at all? On the 26th the family finally forced open the door, and found her dead. Who decided it was time to force open the door? Who forced open the door? And how much did that SUCK!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

pubes.




In the Florida Keys a woman named Megan Mariah Barnes, who is 37 years old, happened to get in a little fender bender. The woman caused a two car accident because SHE WAS SHAVING HER PUBIC HAIR WHILE DRIVING. The woman was apparently getting ready to visit her boyfriend. So I can't understand why this woman wouldn't um....shave in her bathroom, even if she didn't have enough time to shave in her bathroom, she had enough time to find a position to shave that while driving? she couldn't just pull over at a sunoco and use the bathroom (ew im getting sick thinking of this) this woman's defense is that HER EX HUSBAND WAS HOLDING THE STEERING WHEEL FROM THE PASSENGER SIDE oh my god. bahahhahahahahaha

Imagination is more important than knowledge




Today is Albert Einsteins birthday.

Einstein Was a Fat Baby with Large Head. I don't know what kind of fact this is.
When Einstein was little he has a speaking problem he didn't speak until he was five years old and his first words were "This soup is too hot" The reason Einstein was so interested in science was because his dad showed him a compass when he was five. so THAT is why hes a genius. When Einstein was 17 he applied to Swiss Federal Polytechnical School and failed his entrance exam. He also had an illegitimate daughter in 1902, but never met her. He hated his oldest son who also hated him back. and the best is for last. . .

Einstein hated his wife so much, that he made a contract for her to follow so he'd stay married to her.

A. You will make sure
1. that my clothes and laundry are kept in good order;
2. that I will receive my three meals regularly in my room;
3. that my bedroom and study are kept neat, and especially that my desk is left for my use only.
B. You will renounce all personal relations with me insofar as they are not completely necessary for social reasons…


the last rule was: "you will stop talking to me if I request it."


Einstein is the fucking man.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Puff The Magic Dragon




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PvvLJSmg8s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCNbtlbrx5o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uv6zq41BjG4


A cartoon movie for children made in 1978, and is clearly suggesting some form of drug use. watch it and decide for yourself.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Dealing is not the easy way out. Go to school.










You need to make money, alot, and quick. So think, dealing drugs seems pretty simple if your too lazy to get an actual job BUT smart enough to play the game, make money, avoid the cops. This man apparently couldn't do any of this. A 33 year old crack dealer in Wichita Kansas was being paid IN MONOPOLY MONEY. After realizing and asking for real money, or his crack, the user that paid him in monopoly money struck him in the head with a hand gun, and still didn't give him his money back. Can someone please tell me why the crack dealer was accepting the monopoly money in the first place? They are a bright assortment of colors, with a little man with a mustache and a top hat in the middle, and no i'm not talking about Theodore Roosevelt, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE MONOPOLY GUY. Cmon seriously.

bird suicide pact?





Birds. A very stressful life. Being born out of an egg into a home with no roof, made out of sticks and other things your mother has picked up off the ground to make you a nest. Eating worms that were chewed by your mother then spit into your beak for dinner. yum. Then having the stress of learning to fly. What if you don't learn quick enough? Are you stranded in your nest forever? Or are you out casted from the rest of the birds once you do learn to fly, for being to slow? Then worrying about flying to warmer weather once it gets cold? Avoiding Hawks, Hunters and Glass sliding doors that you might not realize are there. Birds have it hard. This might possibly be the reason that SEVENTY FIVE starlings were found dead in Somerset on a driveway. Image waking up and running into that on your way to work?

Jesus Christmas.





A 22 year old man named Toby Elles burnt a frying pan, and instead of burning his house down, he found Jesus. He found Jesus' face actually burnt in the bottom of his pan. I'm not sure if I believe that Jesus' face just appeared in the pan, or if this is fake.

http://www.anorak.co.uk/239946/strange-but-true/jesuss-face-appears-on-frying-pan.html

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

14 utopia's of the US




I would like everyone to know the progress that The United States has been making. Although the "recreational" use of marijuanna is not legal in the United States(yet) for some reason I couldn't even envisage, 14 states have stepped it up by legalizing "medical" marijuanna.(the good shit) This is a list of the states that have legalized medical marijuanna and the years they did it.

Alaska 1998
(cause what else could they
possibly be doing up there?)
California 1996
Colorado 2000
Hawaii 2000
(duh)
Maine 1999
Michigan 2008
Montana 2004
Nevada 2000
New Jersey 2010
(congrats to jersey who has made quite
the name for themselves in 2010)
New Mexico 2007
Oregon 1998
Rhode Island 2006
Vermont 2004
Washington 1998

The two hesitant states are Arizona and Maryland who are all for medical marijuanna, but did not legalize the use of it. I'm not sure what point Arizona is trying to make, but I'm not getting the message.



toke up people. make your state worth it.

pillow bastard.




With all the controversy of same sex marriages going on, you'd think someone would have said something about this. 28 year old Lee Jin-gyu is in love, and married...to his pillow. no once again i am not making this up. this man has married his pillow.


http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/816601-man-marries-pillow

Monday, March 08, 2010

hey arnold




Everyone knows Hey Arnold. Football head is loved by everyone. Because of the fact that I am an insomniac, and so is my best friends, subjects like this pop up. With the help of my co blogger Sarah Trudel she has come up with this very interesting theory.

saraaahloove: well....they were gunna make a second movie that dealt with like his last name and his parents
saraaahloove: WHO JUST WENT ON A TRIP AND THEY WERE NEVER HEARD FROM AGAIN BTW OKAY
saraaahloove: but yeah
saraaahloove: that got cancelled
saraaahloove: and the directer guy was like oh youll find out his last name i promise, its been mentioned a lot throughout the series nobdoy caught on tho
saraaahloove: you know how grandpa calls him shortman....
pennnyylaane: yeah
pennnyylaane: thats his nick name
saraaahloove: well its said his name is arnold shortman

is this true? i need to know the truth behind hey arnold.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgmrH96Fvqc

Breast Milk Woman





A woman was arrested for public intoxication. She was taken into jail, and then proceeded to attack a female officer...with her breast milk. I'm not making this up.




http://www.newser.com/story/82712/breast-milk-attack-ends-in-felony-charge.html

Sunday, March 07, 2010

plemons.


Everyone has their favorite type of food. Then there are subcategories that are the types of food, in which people have more specific favorites. Such as fruit, I do not only enjoy fruit alot, my two favorite fruits are lemons and plums. Yes lemons, I will eat a full lemon. Mother nature has decided to make a "lemon plum". My two favorite fruits mixed together. I found this at King Kullen. Yum.

What your favorite foods?